May 16th

Sadly, I am very busy at the moment. I sit here, biting on my badge, listening to my Ipod in one ear, and running some optimization software. It is bagel Friday, but I haven’t yet paid my bagel society dues, so I must watch and drool, for now. I may snipe one later when no one is watching.

Poetic Outburst of the Day (10:30 A.M.)

Daily I gripe and dine
I crawl creepily

Into a cubicle
To be rendered an Emulsion

Each day I mete death in a pair of khakis
I click a furious pattern
I urn my wages
But the wages of sin are salaried casualties
Thus, a casual causality:
Access Denied!

The two concubines across from me, who make up 66.67% of the Cubicle Complainers Club, have not stopped talking about American Idol or Dancing with the Stars for the past three days. Quite possibly two of the worst TV shows invented by the inverts in the TV business, I cringe and squirm the entire time the two mud hens chirp back and forth.

In the last two days, I have finished two full schedules; the first for 3 days, the second for 6. So, I am a pretty camper who also happens to be happy. With a penchant for Chameleonism, I find it very easy to blend in with this company. Why then, you ask, can I not obtain for myself a bagel without being spotted? That is easily answered: they placed a tripwire in the form of a secretary to guard the cache of calories. She/It has to move eventually…

After lunch, the bagels were left unguarded, but I was no longer hungry. So I took two, one for this afternoon and one for the ride home. I then attended the big-wig meeting downstairs and I affected an air of importance the entire time. One guy asked me who I was and I told him that if he didn’t know then he could take the rest of the day off, and, by the way, not to bother coming back next week.

I added this as a signature to all of my outgoing e-mails –

This is from the Chrysler website:

“Chrysler Chairman and CEO Bob Nardelli is in Washington, D.C., today to talk with government officials about the company's initiatives to support the military. Among the many topics being discussed, he is announcing that the company is working with the U.S. Department of Defense and with Labor and Veterans Affairs to bring current and former members of the military together with Chrysler to find the right career opportunities as they transition to civilian life.”

Makes me re-realize how lucky I am both to reside in this country and to have other people risking their own lives so that I can sit in an office all day. I’m glad Chrysler will help to take care of some of them when they come home.