May 29th

A Lessen in Talent Acquisition

I lay circuits of ineptitude
In undulating spirals:
A pond frond with a wand, if you Will: I Am

The murky liquid
Ubiquitous and sinister
Ministers to high-heeled harlots:
Susurrations that fail to scintillate

May I interest you in a scorching?
Your eyes; a torching?
A bent soul makes kinder tinder
Than a roasted ghost

The diversion of short division
Has the half-life of an opiate:
Our intellect stays anesthetized
Inside our sterile minds

To disinfect our disrespect:
Delete the square root of Thinking,
Drown the “Tasks with Meaning,”
Then dole out, slowly, the remaining.

As you can see from the poetic outburst of the week, today went by with an unsubtle slowness that stripped me of both my resolve and my diaper harness. Up until today, I had been ziplining about the office with bright eyes and a silver tongue. I have effectively been grounded today though, strapped to my chair by boredom. No man is an island, I know, but I would argue that if your emotional moat is thick enough, there is no difference.

During the last of my many trips to the water fountain on this fine day some liquid got all up on my khaki threads in the equatorial region of my anatomy, making for an embarrassing stitchuation. I tried to look powerful and confident in my wetness but only pulled off an “I’m 21 and my bladder misbehaves every so often” look.

Highlight of my day: and e-mail exchange early this morning. Some HR lady named Linda tells the interns that she has set up an e-mail group to make it easier for us interns to contact each other. She says this is in response to many requests from the interns for her to provide us master list full of intern contact information. I promptly delete the e-mail. 10 minutes later:

Hi Linda,

For some reason I am a member of the InternMailList group. I should not be. I have worked at Chrysler for 14 years.

Please remove my name from this group.

I did not start receiving these "Intern" messages until this morning.

This is when you know a company respects it older employees. I don’t blame the guy for raising his hackles though, those “Intern” messages are hard to decipher and even harder to relate to.